How Jesus Defined Marriage

This is a special blog post that is a synopsis of my message on July 5, 2015 in response to the legalization of same-sex marriage.  Before the message, I explained that the ministers on staff at Northside, as a matter of personal belief and conscience,would not be performing same sex marriages.  We have also prepared a resource page on our website to help people know how to respond to this issue.  It can be found at www.nbcvictoria.org/marriage.

for the journey...
Tim

How Jesus Defined Marriage

Mark 10:2-9

Have you heard the story of "Love Locks" in Paris?  People began to place a lock on the railing of a footbridge as a nice way of expressing love and commitment to one another.  It started in 2008, and the locks, often with the couple’s name, initials or anniversary, began to be a phenomena.  Thousands of locks were placed on the railing of the bridge.  Historical societies began calling for stopping the practice.  But what is wrong with people expressing the permanence of their love.  Engineers began to question the safety for this old bridge to have this many locks.  Similar objections came about the expression of true live.  The practice went on until the bridge held 700,000 locks, the weight of 20 elephants.  Then some of the railing panels holding those locks began to collapse.  Now they have to be removed so the rest of them don't cave in.

 Can’t we express love any way we want to?  How can my showing my love for the person I love negatively impact someone else?  What is wrong with it?  Have you heard that recently?  We are going through a marriage controversy today with the legalization of same sex marriage.  Jesus lived through a marriage controversy too.  Let us just simply look at his words about marriage as he answers a controversial question. 

 Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”

“What did Moses command you?” he replied.
 They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”
 “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied.  “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’  ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”  Mark 10:2-9

Marriage as Jesus defined it

There were two schools of thought on divorce in that day.  A very liberal one that said it was ok to divorce your wife for any reason and another that said divorce should only come about because of marital unfaithfulness.  It was a divisive issue, a test in which they wanted to trap Jesus.  Can they get him arrested as John the Baptist had been for criticizing the ruler of that region, Herod Antipas who divorced his wife to marry his brother's wife?  What does Jesus say?  Go back to the Bible, the words of Moses is what they had.  The answer to divorce is found in what God intended marriage to be.  Here is a key, God made marriage for a reason, a cause, a purpose.  He has a plan, a definition for marriage so...

Marriage first and foremost is obedience to God’s commands.

He gave commands about marriage and about sex.  Sex was and is to be only in marriage between one man and one woman.  Look at those words, "God made them male and female." Jesus did not have to say that for his day but he did, it speaks and it speaks to our day.  It also speaks to where we must look in our controversy, it also speaks to how we build a strong marriage God’s way, by constant input from the Bible.  That is where we must turn so as not to let the thought of our day influence us more than His word.  What have you read more this past week?  News, opinions, social media or His word?  Let all of His word speak to all we are going through.  Someone may read it and say, "Isn't Jesus saying things have changed about divorce; that marriage had 'evolved?'  No, that certificate they mentioned just stated that this woman had not committed adultery, she just was no longer pleasing to her husband so he was divorcing her.  It kept her from further ridicule.  Jesus said God gave this because of the hardness of men's hearts.  Divorce is a sin with which we cannot trifle.   We, as God’s people, need to embrace the word for our day and let it influence our attitudes and our marriages.  We need to let God show us how to deal with sin in our lives and in our marriages.  How?

Marriage as Jesus defined it is a transformation toward God’s oneness, this one flesh of which he speaks.

God has a bigger purpose than just loving each other, even for a lifetime.  Remember the "Gospel idea" we talked about a couple of weeks ago – two people being transformed by God, "leaving," "cleaving," "becoming one?"  Two people knowing God's power in overcoming sin and doing God’s will and work in life?  A lot of people live long successful lives but never fulfill God’s purpose, just their own.  Marriages can be that way too.  God has transformation for you to experience and for you to be a part of making happen in the world.  Your marriage has an influence on the world.  What kind is it?  We can look in the Bible and see that much of our Middle East problems stem from one bad decision in one marriage.  That mistake?  Abraham taking Hagar to have a child by her, even at his wife Sarah's encouragement.  What were they doing?  Following the influence of their times and not God’s plan.   Ever since then, the children of Abraham - the Jews and the Arabs have been at one another.  Abraham and Sarah gave up on God's plan, redefined their marriage and now we see the pain that is caused by the influence of one bad decision.

Some have had this objection in light of all we see in the Bible, "What is Biblical marriage?"  There is a lot of sex outside marriage; there is a lot of polygamy.   Let me answer it this way, people have been trying to redefine marriage all through history.  One man and one woman to one man, many women.  Men have always been trying to redefine God's plan for sex only in marriage.  Let me borrow a phrase I read this week, "What the Bible describes is not always what it prescribes."  Just look at Abraham’s marriage and family.  We see the pain caused when we do not follow God's plan.  Yet God wanted to bring transformation even back then, through a marriage. He graciously continued to work with Abraham and Sarah and they returned to God's plan.  What does all this point to for us in our day?  We need the constant work of the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit works to change people in a relationship and to change people’s ideas of relationship to match God's.  The thought of marriage that, "I find someone to make me happy and love them all my life," is not God’s plan.  He wants two people to become like Christ and then find what they are looking for in following Him.  The transformation of Holy Spirit is exactly what we are looking for in marriage.  Look at what Paul says this fruit of the Spirit is, “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control."  Exactly what we want in marriage.  But it only comes by the Holy Spirit and it only comes in God's plan, not outside of it.  We must stop trying to redefine marriage to be about us.  There must be change in the way we naturally think about marriage and our spouses, for marriage to be what God intended - the way Jesus defines it.

Jesus definition of marriage also involves effort towards God’s permanence.

God intends a marriage to last a lifetime that is the way he will work with you.  We need to not “let” things happen that separate us.  A lot of those bad things we just let happen.  We don’t keep working on marriage and learning to love and give sacrificially.  I can "let" myself be shaped by the world to think that marriage is over when I no longer find happiness.  That is the circumstance of the sin of divorce Jesus is speaking to here.  The way Jesus defined love, was sacrificial. I give something of myself for the good of another. In that sacrifice, I find the other person made better and I find joy in it.  So how does Jesus define this effort?  As constant attention to love another person as he does.

Don’t let those things happen that destroy marriage.   Here is a lesson I have learned:  Salvation is by the grace of God, but marriage is by works. Not the other way around.  You must act in obedience to what God is doing to change you because he will enable you to love this active, sacrificial way and not just let things come that bring separation.  Let me give you an example.  For years the song, "You were Always on my Mind" has been popular.  Brenda Lee sang. Elvis sang it.  Willie Nelson won a Grammy for singing it.  Here is how that song begins,

Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
And maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
If I made you feel second best
Girl I'm sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

And maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time

But you were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Ok, that is just stupid.  That is "letting" something happen that separates.  We must act in obedience that is how you stay together and overcome sin.  Yes, marriage was made to overcome sin, not continue it.  And in obedience to God and his plan that is what happens.

Marriage and a personal saving relationship with Jesus are joined together in the Bible, they have much in common -  obedience, transformation and effort - all of those involve love.  They are inseparable but we can often try to do things on our own.  We need to hear his words, follow his ways to eternal life and then follow his ways for this life.  Have you made that commitment to him?  He has done all he can.  In a sense, he has proposed and waits on your answer.

We must hear words that we often overlook, words that speak about God doing something in our lives and doing it His way. These are not just nice words said at a wedding, they are words of life.  “What God has joined together let no one separate.”  What is God bringing together in your life?

Less is Greater

I never took a course in physics but even I know that Isaac Newton introduced the laws of gravity after an encounter with a falling apple.  Though he made his discoveries in the 1600's, he is one of the great minds of physics even to this day.  But none of us may have heard of him had it not been for a man named Edmund Halley.

Halley was a mentor and guide to Newton.  He challenged Newton to think through some of his original notions, corrected Newton's mathematical errors and prepared geometrical figures to support his discoveries.  Halley encouraged Newton to write down his work, he edited his writings and then paid for the printing costs.

When Newton's fame grew, Halley received little credit and did not seem to care.  Edmund Halley did use Newton's principles to predict the orbit and the sighting of Halley's comet that bears his name but other than that, few know of his contributions. I certainly did not until this week.  Was he mentioned in physics classes and I just never heard it?

When Jesus began to preach and people began to go to him instead of John the Baptist, one of John's disciples brought it to his attention.  John's reply was, "He must become greater and I must become less" John 3:30.  No one thought much of John the Baptist's contributions after that.  Jesus took the spotlight and John was taken to prison and then to his execution.

But John, in Jesus own words, did prepare the way for him.  He fulfilled his life's purpose to be the "voice of one calling in the wilderness" to prepare the way for the Lord.  His words and example still echo today, "He must become greater, I must become less."  For John, 'less is more,' was not the way it worked, less was greater.

This Sunday we will look at that statement and John's life but until then let me ask, where is he becoming greater in your life and where are you becoming less?  Also, who is becoming greater in the kingdom because of your encouragement?  If we are going to live out John's great principle of Jesus becoming greater and we becoming less, we have to have answers to both those questions.

for the journey...

Tim

The Word Worth a Thousand Pictures

The movie "Son of God" has far surpassed it box office predictions.  It has brought in $26.5 on its opening weekend when projections figured it would bring in $17.5 million.  On March 4, it was Fandango's number 1 rated movie.  It's popularity is not with out controversy and certainly not without discussion.  No movie about Jesus will ever be a non-controversy.

I was not able to make it to the opening weekend because of commitments so Judith and I went to see it on Monday night.  I was moved, I was impressed and I struggled at parts of it.  I sat there at times getting into the story then at other times thinking, "Ok, that event is not in the right place chronologically" or "That is not how that happened in the John's gospel."  I finally made my mind up to watch it as I would a church Easter Pageant; there is simply no way to portray every detail of every event in the gospels in a movie format.  If it were up to me I would have done it differently. 

In the end, I am glad Roma Downey and her husband Mark Burnett made the effort.  I don't believe they were trying to mess things up; they were trying to bring a message out of the life of Christ.  It had flaws, it had it's high points.  I commend their effort and I pray that they may not go the way of Mel Gibson after he made the movie, "The Passion of the Christ."  They will receive criticism and pressure and I pray that their faith and their lives will remain strong.  I commend their courage though I don't always agree with how things were presented.  I would have done it differently but then I am not a movie maker.  I am glad and thankful they are.

One of the realizations I had watching it and critiquing it was that there is no way to put the life of Christ into a movie and make it as dynamic, as realistic, as detailed and as accurate as the written word.  God knew what he was doing when he inspired the scriptures to be written.  He did not wait until there could be a movie about his son, he inspired people to write.  Hopefully, the movie will inspire people to read.

I left with a greater appreciation of the Bible and the people who did write accounts of the life of Jesus as they were inspired by God.  No one will ever top that.  Even our best efforts to portray it or represent it will fall short but the Word of God will not fail or pass away (Matthew 5:18).  And that is how it should be. And that is how it will be.

There were a group of ladies from our church there at the theater the night we saw "Son of God."  One of them asked me, "You have already seen this haven't you?"  I answered, "No, but I have read the book."  Now, for a while, I will read it and think back on the movie.  I will see details they caught and I had missed.  I will see details they did not portray.  Hopefully, I will see the Son of God more clearly.

for the journey...

Tim

Which Jesus?

Sometimes I run across something that is too long to use in a sermon but it just fits things to a 'T."  Such is the case this week.  I ran across this pastor's blog and I want to share it with you.  I wish I had the creativity to say it this way.  It is worth the read.

"The Real Jesus Christ"

"The greatness of God is most clearly displayed in his Son. And the glory of the gospel is only made evident in his Son. That's why Jesus' question to his disciples [in Matthew 16] is so important: "Who do you say that I am?"
The question is doubly crucial in our day, because [no one is as popular in the U.S. as Jesus]—and not every Jesus is the real Jesus. …

There's the Republican Jesus—who is against tax increases and activist judges, for family values and owning firearms.

There's Democrat Jesus—who is against Wall Street and Wal-Mart, for reducing our carbon footprint and printing money.

There's Therapist Jesus—who helps us cope with life's problems, heals our past, tells us how valuable we are and not to be so hard on ourselves.

There's Starbucks Jesus—who drinks fair trade coffee, loves spiritual conversations, drives a hybrid, and goes to film festivals.

There's Open-minded Jesus—who loves everyone all the time no matter what (except for people who are not as open-minded as you).

There's Touchdown Jesus—who helps athletes fun faster and jump higher than non-Christians and determines the outcomes of Super Bowls.

There's Martyr Jesus—a good man who died a cruel death so we can feel sorry for him.

There's Gentle Jesus—who was meek and mild, with high cheek bones, flowing hair, and walks around barefoot, wearing a sash (while looking very German).

There's Hippie Jesus—who teaches everyone to give peace a chance, imagines a world without religion, and helps us remember that "all you need is love."

There's Yuppie Jesus—who encourages us to reach our full potential, reach for the stars, and buy a boat.

There's Spirituality Jesus—who hates religion, churches, pastors, priests, and doctrine, and would rather have people out in nature, finding "the god within" while listening to ambiguously spiritual music.

There's Platitude Jesus—good for Christmas specials, greeting cards, and bad sermons, inspiring people to believe in themselves.

There's Revolutionary Jesus—who teaches us to rebel against the status quo, stick it to the man, and blame things on "the system."

There's Guru Jesus—a wise, inspirational teacher who believes in you and helps you find your center.

There's Boyfriend Jesus—who wraps his arms around us as we sing about his intoxicating love in our secret place.

There's Good Example Jesus—who shows you how to help people, change the planet, and become a better you.

And then there's Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God. Not just another prophet. Not just another Rabbi. Not just another wonder-worker. He was the one they had been waiting for: the Son of David and Abraham's chosen seed; the one to deliver us from captivity; the goal of the Mosaic law; Yahweh in the flesh; the one to establish God's reign and rule; the one to heal the sick, give sight to the blind, freedom to the prisoners and proclaim Good News to the poor; the Lamb of God who came to take away the sins of the world.

This Jesus was the Creator come to earth and the beginning of a New Creation. He embodied the covenant, fulfilled the commandments, and reversed the curse. This Jesus is the Christ that God spoke of to the Serpent; the Christ prefigured to Noah in the flood; the Christ promised to Abraham; the Christ prophesied through Balaam before the Moabites; the Christ guaranteed to Moses before he died; the Christ promised to David when he was king; the Christ revealed to Isaiah as a Suffering Servant; the Christ predicted through the Prophets and prepared for through John the Baptist.

This Christ is not a reflection of the current mood or the projection of our own desires. He is our Lord and God. He is the Father's Son, Savior of the world, and substitute for our sins—more loving, more holy, and more wonderfully terrifying than we ever thought possible."

Kevin DeYoung, "Who Do You Say That I Am?" from his DeYoung, Restless, and Reformed blog (posted 6-10-09)

Now my question for all of this week is, "Do I see Jesus for who I want him to be or for who he really is?  We will start with that question on Sunday.

For the journey...

Tim