Making Peace

In my first church, there was an incident that really put the whole church in a bad light.  It involved a funeral and a statement that someone who worked at a funeral home made about our church to the family that was grieving.  Some similar statements like this had been made before.

It was very upsetting to me and to the church so I did the right thing and confronted the person.  Though this was the right thing, I did not go about it the right way.  I spoke in anger and I was not respectful.  It caused a real rift.  Soon people were coming to me and saying things like, "I just want you to know that I am on your side."  Other comments that came my way were things said about me and the church and the problem with this person at the local Dairy Queen during morning coffee gatherings.  It kept getting bigger.

Finally, with reluctance and very little hope that this would get settled, I decided to do the right thing the right way.  I took a trusted deacon, we went to the person and I asked for his forgiveness for speaking in anger and in disrespect.  To my surprise, that settled it.  There were no more reports from the Dairy Queen and no one else telling me that they were on my side.

I have gone back to that little town several times for funerals, always working with the person that I had the problem with and there seems to be no remnant of the past still hanging around.  I have no other explanation than God does like to work when we work at reconciliation.

Several years later, I came across these steps to reconciliation from Ken Sande author of the book, The Peacemaker.  I can recommend them:

• Address everyone involved.
• Avoid "if" "but" and "maybe."
• Admit specifically what you did.
• Acknowledge the hurt.
• Accept the consequences.
• Alter your behavior.
• Ask for forgiveness.
• Allow time.

"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."  Romans 12:18

for the journey...

Tim