Mad at Church

I sat in my car outside their home wishing to do anything but what I had to do right then, go into the home and talk to a family that had gotten hurt at church.  A message had not been delivered, a key event in that family's life had gone unrecognized and unaddressed now they were upset, feelings were hurt.  I could not blame them, it had happened but neither could I take on the burden of blame because I had not been involved in any of the problems.  Things had happened before I even came to be their pastor but I was the one they wanted to talk to about why they were leaving the church.

I went in and things were pleasant but tense.  I listened to their story.  I recognized and acknowledged that what they were saying was correct.  All the things they talked about had happened and they should not have.  I told them I understood their anger.  They responded that they were "not angry but hurt." 

I recognized my self in those words, I had said them too at times in my life.  Now hearing them said to me made me realize something about myself.  If I am hurt, I am most likely angry but I do not like to characterize it that way.  I did learn a lesson that night about that phrase and about myself.  If I am hurt, I need to admit my anger and deal with it, not deny it.

After their story was done, I acknowledged that what they were saying was factual.  There were no excuses or explanations to be given.  I could see how they could feel that way.  Then I asked them to forgive the church.   There was a long pause.  After a while, the sentiment was expressed that they were not holding a grudge but that what had happened was "too much"  for them to come back to church.  They wanted me to know they were going somewhere else.  I thanked them, prayed with them and left feeling like I had done about all I could do.  I appreciated their desire to be upfront with me and tell me why they were leaving.  That was the right thing to do.

I have to admit there are times that I too have been hurt at church.  There are times that I too felt like there was "too much"  that had happened for me to stay but I did not have the option of leaving.  I was the pastor.  Now, I am so glad that I did not have the path to leave so easily, because I have had to stay, God has taught me so much about myself and my anger but also about His power to reconcile faulty, imperfect people to one another in His church.  Do you have a hurt in your life that causes it to be "too much" to stay?  Have you ever been mad at church?  Mad at the church?  Come on be honest.

There are two clear times in the gospels that Jesus, the perfect son of God, acted in anger.  Interestingly enough, both incidents were in church - or I should say one in the synagogue and one in the temple.  We are going to look at those this Sunday and try to understand the phrase, "be angry and sin not" in Ephesians 4:26 and beyond.  I have much to learn about all this.  Chances are you do too.  Don't let something be "too much" for us to learn about it this week.

For the journey...

Tim